addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
what's left of me.
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
it's so strange. to look back.. it was only 2mths ago that i was so sure that i was going somewhere. and then he drops us like stones. now i'm just so lost. he used to be so sure that we could make it somewhere. used to be a great source of motivation, knowing that he had plans for us, he believed in us. now i can't help but feel like i'm worthless.
i took it for granted i guess... it was nice while it lasted. just going for training knowing that i didn't have to worry about what the prog was and if it was enough.
i miss that feeling of being "on track". all i had to do was get my butt down to training and listen to what he had to say. maybe the prog wasn't the most perfect one, but at least it got me somewhere. now i worry if getting my butt down there will do me more harm than good.
14 days in a foreign land ain't enough to create such great miracles you know... only got 6 weeks left...
hm anw. i realised that i've left the fieler in me behind. haven't been talking much about them. i used to ponder about them in my head quite often. but i guess new stuff has taken over. if any of you still come here.. here's a big hug and an "IMISSYOU!". heh. haha actually many thanks to wj for updating me on pb stuff. if not i think i'd feel so.. distanced. at least now i know SOME stuff. ayee and i miss nictham's cake partaye! :( lol. to tell you the truth i was always afraid that things would be like this- reduced to just waves and all in corridors. but i guess that some things we can't control. can't always have everything. i'm just really glad i was given a year plus to be part of the rgspb experience. from what i've heard lotsa stuff has changed... hm. oh well. i miss you guyssss :D
haha i am sucha loser. i'm very sick of mugging. I NEED TO TRAIN! sorry i'm becoming a psycho. having withdrawal symptoms. from now till osim the only person that can get myself into shape is myself. lol. gonna take a hell lot of discipline, but if i want to get somewhere i've GOT to do something. and something soon man. in jan i thought i was on track. in march i was feeling great. then from april - now. haha uhm.
alrighty enough crap for a day. desp hsewives and GA today. whee. SS fa and phys pt are DAMN hard. philo's super confusing. chinese zuowen tmr! eegadd.